My New All In Struggles (What I Haven’t Told You Yet)

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    I'll keep you guys up to date on my IG Story▹
    ▹IG‣ @stephanie_buttermore
    ▹ FOOD IG! ‣@StephsHollowLeg
    I feel a bit nervous but also relieved to talk to you guys.Thank you for sticking with me in this next chapter. Love you guys! 💕
    *Last Video*
    What's Going On With Me? (I Need To Open Up...)▹
    *Recommended Videos*
    ▹How 1 YEAR Of Weight Gain Changed My Life Forever▹
    ▹What Everyone Got Wrong About My Weight Gain▹
    ▹I Ate Breakfast From A Different Country Every Day For 1 Week ▹
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    ⬜️ MUSIC ▹
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    •Music by MYSM - Fucked Up Today -
    ⬜️ FAQs ▹
    1.What is your ethnicity?
    ‣ Mom is Thai and Dad is Canadian..Eh?
    2. How tall are you?
    ‣ 5'4"(and a half 🙃)
    3. How old are you?
    ‣ 30
    3. What did you research?
    ‣ Watch my PhD Day in the life video ▹
    4. Is Jeff your boyfriend?
    ‣ Duh
    5. Is that your real hair?
    ‣ Yes
    AYOOO!! My name is Stephanie Buttermore and in a few words I am a fitness enthusiast but a scientist at heart!
    Just obtained my Ph.D. in pathology and cell biology with a research focus on the molecular mechanisms that drive ovarian cancer progression. Hope you stick around! xoxo
    FTC: This video is NOT sponsored.

    Közzététel: 7 hónapja


    1. Stephanie Buttermore

      I feel really nervous but I know I’ll feel so much better after I post this video. I’ll make sure to keep you guys posted on my IG Story if you're interested in daily updates (@stephanie_buttermore). Also, let me know if you want to see a full day of eating in the comments!👇 Thank you for sticking with me in this next chapter. Love you guys! 💕

      1. Sharon Jre

        YES PLEASE! A full day of eating, maybe even workouts would be so great 💛

      2. Hannah Sparkes

        Your beautiful inside and out!! You got this girl!! Love you!!❤️🥰

      3. true believer

        looks part Japanese

      4. Jayme Hightower

        Thanks for this series of videos. You became quite vulnerable along this journey, and that’s a gift to the world. I’m wrestling with my weight at (almost) 40, and I’m grateful for your example of being honest with myself about not listening to my body for so many years. One day, I hope to be in a healthy space, but even more, I hope to be as brave as you, whether my journey includes all in, CBT, or whatever it may look like. Thank you 🙏🏾

      5. Fly AF

        Thank you for sharing your journey

    2. Ian Gallagher

      As someone with severe body dysmorphia who has a history of ED, your journey has helped so much during my weight gain journey. I'm in the stage of severe anxiety in the mornings (and at night) and it feels so good knowing someone else feels this too. I have trouble eating but I'm deadset on gaining the weight and it's so difficult not to breakdown when your body won't do what you want it to. That being said, social media is hell on someone going through what you're going through...and perhaps taking a break from HUfast and socials would help ease the pressure?

    3. Pip Galea

      Always amused at armchair commentators who think they know what others should be doing. Thanks for being so vulnerable and open about what you have been going through Stephanie.. Diet culture is hard to shake off because it's all around us and has such a huge influence in all of our lives.. I hope you've found some peace now. I actually wondered if you might have high night time cortisol and low cortisol in the am that effects your appetite ? I also get this now and again and it's normally where my body is pumping out too much adrenaline at night which makes my appetite flat in the am.

    4. Marion Philippo

      Maybe you can find out why it is so important for you what other people ( which you don't know) think of you...What kind of thought is behind that? I think you're very brave and your mental proces is very interesting.

    5. Himani Mehta

      I usually never comment on any video even when I love it but Stephanie this made write it. You’re beautiful and perfect - weight loss or weight gain. “You can be the ripest and juiciest peach in the world but there will be someone who doesn’t like peaches”. So you do you girl! Love your videos and content! ❤️❤️

    6. hannah butcher

      Congratulations darling!! You should be so proud of yourself!! The journey you undertook is a profound mental and physical struggle for anyone yet alone a female fitness influencer!! to even consider taking this on is so mentally challenging. The journey won’t ever finish it will just be constantly changing. Iv been where you are I’m 43 now I can 💯 resonate with everything you have gone through and still going through. it’s a rebellious act to accept ourselves in a world that profits from self doubt. When it comes to the haters and negative comments.... here is something to think about ~ we all have subconscious beliefs we might not even be aware exist so these beliefs can get triggered by negativity words are powerful and can affect us but please know the people that are negative towards you are just projecting their own self hatred on to you. you are beautiful inside and out you’re amazing!! Well done 👏 ❤️

    7. Ninka

      4:10 steph you’re putting too much pressure on yourself🥺 did people really expect your journey to be perfect (no we didn’t!!!!) or did you create this idea that people would expect it to be that way? Just a quick let’s go back to watching :P

    8. Medicine And The Mind

      Be true to your journey. We’ll always be here to support you regardless of your weight. Honestly don’t care about your weight, just your wonderful personality and vlogs 😊

    9. Hanne Peeters

      You are such a queen for being so honest! I wish you all good things and a more peacefull mind! You help me so much by not trying to be 'perfect'! You don't have to do anything! Follow your dreams, love! I'm sure they are way bigger than just the way you look! No one ever became happy and peacefull from trying to live up to any kind of image. We are human, which means we are and always will be with shortcomings, that's what keeps live going :) Accepting no one has the answers, may give you the space to accept you will also never have "THE anwser" and that going of from what feels good now, is the best thing you can do. I hope you are well! xx

    10. Mary Samios

      Honestly? I think your body is more beautiful now than when it was “ripped”. I think we not only over idealize thin bodies, but we over idealize chiseled bodies. Take this with a grain of salt, as it is coming from a middle aged woman who is currently obese. I’ve had a dysfunctional relationship with food most of my life, and I’ve decided to jump off the dieting/binging cycle. I’ve always binged more than dieted, and never was a purger. So I’ve created a body that is most likely higher than my set weight. I’m hoping that with or without weight loss, I find a healthy relationship with food and a fit (not chiseled) body.

    11. Alime Siettarova

      Hello gorgeous!!! Does your chapter 2 will involve any of the psychological aspects of this particular food behavior?

    12. Jackie Lopez

      You’re gorgeous! 🙌✨✨

    13. My Precious


    14. My Precious

      I love you!!

    15. Natalia Aliende

      Fuck what people thinks. What is important here is YOU and how you feel. ❤️

    16. CJ C

      How could this be applicable to a person that is over weight. Wants to lose weight and then find that natural body weight. I have always been around 145 to 165 at height of 5' 9.5" and weigh 200 plus. But, I want to be healthy and happy. I am not happy with my weight. Thank you for your honesty and kindness. I am so happy for your efforts shared. Keep on..keep on..your amazing.

      1. CJ C

        Currently weigh 200 plus at agr 53.

    17. VyTran Eating

      I know how hard it is to ignore the negative people but trust me, Stephanie. You're glowing!!! You're so beautiful now and I believe it is not just because you have a better relationship with food, but also because you're happier now. Really, Stephanie. You're so beautiful now!!!

    18. Ava H.

      Hey Stephanie, i love how authentic you are and you have such a positive impact on this world, no matter it is fitness world, youtube community, female group,. please know I dont have any expectation on you to be perfect in any aspect, please dont feel that way for yourself. along my late 20s and early 30 i finally learn that it is okay to react to all those hate comments, it is okay to yoyo, it is okay you feel upset about what other people think. we are in the world teaching " dont listen to haters" , we are okay to shed tears to have mental melt down because of other people's opinion, it is even okay to have mental issues sometimes. quoting from dr. dispenza, " it is okay to react, just how long we wanted to stay in that". from what i can see from your video, i am seeing a beautiful butterfly trying to struggle in its cocoon and about to be truly free. there is up and down and we are all along the way and there is no definite result that we could know until we close our eyes and say goodbye to this world. all we want to learn in this life is to love and to be loved, by ourselves. we want to be happy, free, loving, and loved. my goal is just to have a good death, saying "what a wonderful life I had".

    19. Allie Gallagher

      You are a God send. So please continue your journey ♥️

    20. Allie Gallagher

      Go carnivore, as you go all in

    21. Gypsierose Jane

      I was told 'other people's opinions shouldn't matter you' as others opinions are only their hang ups about their own lives. You & who means the most to you should only matter.

    22. Wilma De Jong

      Gurl, how tall are you? Weren’t you underweight before you went all in? You look SO beautiful right now btw ❤️🥰

    23. claudia stoute

      Just started the video but i had to react before i watch the whole thing because what i have to say won't change after i see it i think. So, i just want to say that i think you are so brave to share this whole Journey online with us. And if anyone reacts in a negative way just discard those reactions because they are just plain stupid. You are doing so well and i think you look better than ever. You are geourgious, you look healthy you are just a beautifull person, inside and outside. Be proud of yourself and all you have acomplished. Keep up the good work and please keep sharing but only if you want to and if it feels good for you. You are the best and allthough i do not know you in person, i am very proud of you. Well now i will watch the rest of the video and if i feel i need to add something i will put it under this message and if not..... well than not😋😉. Lots a hugs and kisses from me👍🏻😊💋😘❤👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻, Claudia, from the netherlands (Hope you can follow what i wrote because english is not my first language ) byeeeeeee😊💋😘👍🏻👋 lol😋 ok so yet another comment. (Again, i hope you understand what i wrote, hope the way i wrote it is somewhat understandible) I understand very well that it is difficult to ignore the negative reactions. I am very heavy myself, I only found this out around 38th that my thyroid gland was practically not working and this suddenly explained why I couldn't lose weight all those years. Whatever I did, whatever diet i followed, no matter how much I exercised. I just gained weight and that was very frustrating. All my life I have received only negative comments about my weight and often had a hard time with that because the negative things are often easier to believe than the positive things. A few years ago I ended up in hospital and almost died. My doctor thought my persistence was so good that he gave me the opportunity to undergo gastric sleeve surgery without the entire preliminary process. I seized this with both hands and after my rehabilitation (this took 8 months) I got the gastric sleeve operation. I have lost 145 kg in the meantime and this has not been easy, a lot of pain and a lot of discomfort. I still have a very long way to go, and I still get comments on the street about my weight, very nasty things that are often yelled at me. I also often get the comment that I have taken the easy way out to lose weight and that I am just lazy and do not want to do anything about it and ofcourse by undergoing that operation it goes without saying that I can continue to eat because ofcourse i will lose the weight automatically anyway because of that surgery (and this is ofcourse a load of bulls**t) This is how many people think about it. They don't realize that even before my surgery I already ate less than they ate every day but because I'm fat so I bunker down every kind of junk food all day in large numbers. and people like that don't believe me when I tell them what I ate before my surgery because all the fat has to come from overeating, there just is no other explanationnin their eyes. It took me a long time to finally be able to say to people like that that they can go to hell. But sometimes I still have a hard time hearing it and therefore I understand very well that you have a hard time with the negative reactions. You can't do more than your best, every day is a new day on which you try and you can't do more. But for you too there will come a day when you can say "f ** k you" to people like that. If they don't appreciate and accept you as you are then they are simply not worthy of you. Okay i could go on for a while i think but then i will still be writing this message tomorrow so i leave it at this. I hope my story is helpful to you. I think you are a beautiful person and you are good just as you are .

    24. Amy Slater

      I love your honesty, and how you share. If anything doesn't enhance your journey change it up! You are a butterfly. That is life! The followers preferences shouldn't be too heavily considered in your decisions for your body or mind. You are who matters here! Anxiety is no joke, and I know from my experience in the fitness industry, that being in a fish bowl is tough, and can make you extremely triggered, and self conscious, even if confident is your baseline. I don't like the comments I am seeing about going to therapy. It seems like you are opening your heart and being vulnerable because you respect the value, and impotence of being able to share your human experience. This should not be met with judgement, but people will project their issues on you because you are there, and some people just can't listen with an open heart. I think just sharing where you are in life is honest and valuable. Do that in the way that is healthiest for you, but only when you feel that it is safe. Sometimes just your workouts, fighting through tough moods, and food decisions that aren't purposeful, living messy is honest. If you shared a day of that it would have value too. The point is, you are human, and wherever you go is a beautiful part of your journey.

    25. Allison Gernheuser

      I’m happy at this weight “not because I think I LOOK GOOD. I struggle with that no matter what my weight is.” - that is so important to hear and digest. Stephanie has been at a variety of weights yet admits none of them make her always feel good about how she looks. So important for me to hear. I appreciate taking the looks out of the equation and focusing on how your body just feels..

    26. Louise ottosson

      I think your strategy to spend more time with loved ones and doing things for yourself is soo important and will help with your mental challenges. In my teenage years when I was struggling the most with how my body looked and what I ate the most important thing for me to feel better about myself was to spend less time on social media and only follow people who I really cared about, which turned out to be none. I will explain, my friends and family I would rather spend time with and talk to in real life than looking at what was happening in their lives through social media. The other ones, like you and other people that inspires me, I realized it was better to actively search for them on social media when I was curious what they had posted rather than following them and seeing stuff that I didn't care about. So, what I want to say is keep pushing and focus on yourself, the less you are involved in social media, the less it will affect you, I promise. I know that it is your job and a huge part of your life but I suppose you don't need to follow people and be active on other people's accounts to be successful yourself? If that's wrong, my bad, hopefully, you can find a balance anyway. Like other people have commented on this video, you're doing such good work and influencing so many people to feel better about themselves. I really hope you can feel better about yourself soon:) (Even if you already sound very mature and self-aware) Wish you all the luck!

    27. K M

      I have the exact same anxiety / no appetite in the morning!! Sometimes I feel like I'm force feeding myself to get the fuel in there and it's awful, but it really does get worse if you don't eat. My best strategy for combating this has been trying to get enough sleep and folllwing a strict, solid morning routine for myself that keeps me busy (hygiene, chores, listening to a podcast while going on a short walk, and eating a meal that I change regularly to encourage my appetite, and I eat with no distractions like my phone to slow me down) all of which gives me the satisfaction of productivity and keep my mind from spiraling. It helps, but some days are harder than others. Love that this conversation is happening!

    28. Susanne King

      Thank you for sharing! Love to you


      Idk who u r but I know when I was younger I always thought I was fat! I was rock hard and ran all the time and was very physical. But bc of society always thought I was just that fat! Now when I look back at my pics I was perfect & tiny at certain points. You are perfect! You have such a GORGEOUS BODY!! I hope u are able to see that as well. I’m much much older now & im able to truly see with open eyes. Your body is rockin! I mean ROCKIN!!

    30. Helena Chase

      Are you doing yoga ? Its wonderful for anxiety .

    31. Helena Chase

      Share your life if you want .... And maybe dropping social media might be another stage in your journey...

    32. Champagne Mami

      L:-theonine is an amino acid found in green tea thats really ehlpful for naxiety and godo for your brain, it even promotes neurogenesis

    33. Lisa Eve

      Wondering why she wouldn't consider changing the food to whole plant based in volume to fix hormones and keep that eating.... she could eat soo much and not need to worry... she's a food addict... it's sad. Intuitive eating works only if you do not eat any processed food. This is sad.

    34. karina quin

      Why do you record yourself crying? It's kind of weird. I understand you want to be raw but what you're putting yourself through just doesn't make sense. Take a break man

    35. L.A. Caswall

      You’ve helped me. And I think that’s why you keep doing this is to help people. If that is what brings you joy focus on that. Focus on the things that are bringing you joy and not on what others have to say. Others that are saying things have their own things they need to work through. You have your family and friends and I’m so grateful you have that to help you through this. Not sure if you meditate but that really helped in my deepest puts of anxiety.

    36. Emily Thomas

      You are the smartest, hottest, most inspirational person I’ve seen on the HUfasts. You are humble and vulnerable and I’ve actually been thinking of your all-in journey and listening to my body if I need more food or a break from exercise. You are the real deal. Thanks for inspiring so many young women to be real.

    37. Salma Mili

      You are really pretty

    38. Angie C

      I can’t even imagine the huge sacrifice it is to publicly document your journey. But really truly thank you. You will be helping so many people.

    39. Hammerite

      I love all the comments from amateur therapist. "She needs this, she needs that. She's too body focused, too big, too small" I think she looks amazing. Any more amazing and my head would explode. As someone that lost 50 lbs with Keto and listening to everyone give me unsolicited opinions and advice let me just say....shut up. Everyone finds their way and I think she is doing great. Maybe continue the videos for those that care and struggle but turn the comment section off. That would 100% solve the problem. You look awesome Steph and your journey through all this has been very educational and amazing.

    40. Leslie Arias

      I thank the HUfast gods for the algorithm that made me find your videos because I can relate to how you feel omg

    41. Casandra Oaks

      I'm new to this channel and really appreciate you and your videos! Keep pushing and keep fighting! And thanks for sharing all of this. You have worked so hard, celebrating how far you've come 😊

    42. Anita Knight

      Your health and happiness is all that matters. Most people don't understand what true athletes go through. Keep up the great work! You and Jeff seem very happy with what All In has done for you!

    43. Anela Cee

      I never saw more agreement in the comments section

    44. Sundeep Jador

      Try reading the “Subtle art of not giving a f**k”

    45. Keilani Crespi

      This comment section is so negative... she's sharing her journey, still helping people along the way, and if you don't like it, don't watch it. Thank you for continuing to inspire Stephanie

    46. Abi Ward

      Aw Stephanie

    47. Jen M

      So, in preface to my comment...I think you are a genuine and smart woman. Maybe diving into every facet of every feeling, reason of how we eat, why you eat, when you eat ect has heightened this anxiety. Breaking down something that was a simple process from evolution, eating and digesting, has become this complicated, intricate dance. I'm not saying all mental health issues related to food are simple but perhaps the solutions are, sometimes. For some people, including myself, there is a limit to understanding. The urge to understand, label, rationalize every feeling, action, emotion is exhausting. Being intelligent, sometimes we break things up into too many pieces and it crumbles. This has been my experience for my personality type. For me, this was easier to do after having my children and I aged. You are a sweetheart. I only started watching recently but I wish you happiness in your beautiful life

    48. Marianne Kane - Equipped with Strength

      I highly recommend the book “Chatter” by Ethan Kross. It might help you see these issues in a new light. As someone who’s had an “online life” I can see now what was happening. You’ve got this! And you don’t owe the internet anything. That’s the strangest thing about all this “being an online personality”... it starts to feel like it matters way more than it does. I still get sucked in to anxiety over this stuff. And I understand fearing the opinions of others. I gained a lot after my daughter and felt ashamed and like I’d be disrespected etc. sigh. I also avoided posted, all of what you described. So I can relate. But I started reading that book and so many pennies are dropping for me.

    49. El Jefe

      A beautiful, healthy doctor who probably makes a ton of money is whining about anxiety because of something so trivial such as a few pounds! What a joke! You have no idea what living with the hell that is true anxiety and depression or having a horrible life. Get over yourself, lady!

    50. Maria Reich

      imagine doing this as a person who doesn't go to the gym.... oof I'd be scared ngl

    51. Korana Ashleigh

      You don't look good, you look great.

    52. Bellcurve Fitness

      Thank you so much for being so courageous and sharing your journey. This has helped me and I know so many others who have a history of disordered eating. You inspire me 💙

    53. Kristin Lindsey

      My anxiety got really bad after starting hormonal birth control

    54. Dru Cru

      She calls it "all in" Other trainers call it "fit to fat" 🤷‍♂️

    55. V Geez

      I’m starting my “all in” journey. I’m terrified of gaining weight but I’m tired of my unhealthy relationship with food since losing 50 pounds. I’m staying away from the scale and no longer counting calories. Just eating a balanced diet and eating whenever I’m hungry. I’m tired of restricting and you really encouraged me to take the step and just be at peace with how I look. It’s about health, mentally and physically.

    56. Lindsey Perez

      wow this came at the right timing 🥺 love you queen

    57. Punk Queen

      You look amazing!,

    58. Am Nicol

      Stephanie your content has changed a lot since you’ve gone “All-in”. Maybe it’s time to step away from the All-in videos and go back to your old content.

    59. katie stolte

      Love you Stephanie! I have really similar body statistics to you, I gained about 10 more pounds then your highest in my recovery from anorexia and now I’m around the same place as you are maintaining at. Definetly can relate on the fear of what people think, if you change I will be proud no matter what. My own recovery took two and a half years for my weight to taper off and for my emotions to balance, I still struggle with health problems but i hope I’m due time staying in recovery they will heal. 💖💖

    60. Revonda Mehovic

      Congratulations on successfully defending your PhD!

    61. Veronika Yavricheva


    62. RUR

      Imagine what your life would feel like if you didn't care about what every one on the internet thought of you. What if you put down the camera and lived your life for you. I bet you would really love life. This youtube/ instagram crap is terrible for people. It is really sick that you would turn your camera on to film yourself in so much mental pain just for views. I hope you get the help you need but you are causing your condition with youtube. It is gross.

    63. Polly Pones

      Hey Stephanie, think about the birth control pills side effects!

    64. BettyBlu

      We will all be here if and when you want to or should take a break for YOU! We honor you...don't forget that! Thank you.

    65. An Di

      Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us :) So many aspects are relatable, and it's very inspiring to hear about.

    66. Nataliia Kinash

      Thank you for this talk, for sharing your feelings!

    67. Kay Jay

      Start with what you want - and shoot for that. You just never going to please everyone but you can please yourself. 🤷‍♀️

    68. Sabrina Tran

      Your beauty comes from your intelligence, personality, strength, and honesty. Your a great example for women, and your weight is not what makes you attractive. I didn’t mind when you were 40+ lbs, but I understand the “yo-yo” or “dieting”. Just know your beautiful either why.

    69. Sara S.

      What's up with all the unsolicited advice going on in this comments section?? Damn. Not to even mention the criticism (whether constructive or not). People are just talking down to her, and I think it's really rude. Yeah she's "putting her whole life on here" but do people REALLY have to make sure they get their hot takes in? She wasn't asking for advice here, just support. Advice IS NOT support. They are related, but not the same thing. Advice is something you ASK for, support is the baseline empathetic response. I know some of you mean well, but think about how YOU would feel if you made a social media post and you have all these randos picking apart your every word, action, image, etc., even with the intention of helping you. You can say you wouldn't be affected, sure, but does that make potentially causing her or anyone else to suffer worth it? I'd personally find it extremely belittling: all these people saying "just" do this thing or that I "need" to fix this aspect of myself make it sound so easy and/or crucial, but yet I continually fail to "do the thing" or "fix myself." How might that make you feel? Basically, all of the unsolicited advice she's been given from these comments is either 1) easier said than done, or 2) she's probably already attempted and it didn't work out for her, or 3) it did work she just hasn't told you about it. It's pretty condescending to assume she hasn't considered these things. Outside pressure from others doesn't help people lose weight, so why should one assume that outside pressure to get off social media or stop "obsessing about food/weight" would actually help her do that? Even when it's well-meaning, as many of these comments often are, they're just not going to have the intended impact. Also, I think a lot of people confuse being vulnerable online with asking for advice. These things are completely separate! I know that this drive to help people feel better can be super strong, and it's something I feel often. But when that drive to help leads to unsolicited advice, it doesn't always come off as helpful, but more nitpicking, or condescending. Instead of the immediate response to her (or anyone else) saying "hey, I'm struggling but I'm working on it" being to go straight to giving unsolicited advice, maybe consider just offering your unconditional support. Express your empathy and acknowledge her struggle, instead of going straight into "fix-it mode." Maybe consider saying something like, "woah, thank you for sharing! It must have taken a ton of courage to say this publicly. We're here for you!" This acknowledges her struggle and expresses your empathy and support for her without immediately going straight to "this is where you need to fix stuff," especially when it's possible that at the time of posting this video, it was still very sensitive and difficult for her to talk about this stuff, meaning it would've been detrimental to her mental health to have someone nit-pick her (again, EVEN when well-meaning). This kind of response is applicable to all sorts of different scenarios in life too, not just a youtuber sharing her experiences. Basically, before you post some long response telling someone exactly how/why/when they went wrong if they've shared that they're struggling, just think a bit about how to react empathetically. Yeah, you'll probably have plenty of thoughts and judgments that you'd want to share for the purpose of advice or insult or whatever, but is it so crucial that you share those thoughts? Change isn't spurred through unnecessary and unsolicited criticism (and when it is, it's usually unhealthy). Sometimes just having someone unconditionally on your side who isn't so critical of your every word/action/etc. is so helpful for actually healing.

    70. c hart

      Question :if I'm coming from a start point if having about 40 pounds to loose how can I go about that without counting calories as I am an obsessive person about tracking but intuitively I eat alot and often gain weight because I cant seem to satisfy my mental craving

    71. Varsha Vishnu

      You are simply amazing ❤ Just wanna say thank-you!!!

    72. Sabrina Halstead

      You are beautiful inside and out and trying to deliver an important message through your authenticity and vulnerability that I feel is lost on so many. You put yourself out there in a way that so many of us don't have the courage to do so that you can entertain, educate, and connect. Trust yourself and those closest to you. Many comments here don't give you credit for your intelligence and self awareness, which is so frustrating. And like all of us, you have more to learn about yourself. It's a never ending journey. Hang on and enjoy the ride. ❤

    73. Robin V

      You look gorgeous at all your different weights, your character and all that you are is such a beautiful person

    74. Fit & Fruchtig

      You could try different techniques like the work by Byron Katie to question and transcending your worries and fears. There is a place in you where you rest in your true Self. From there you can just watch thoughts and fears come up, cause you are less identified with them. You are not your emotions. You are the awareness watching them. If you feel you need somebody guiding you through this, feel free to contact me. Yours Linda

    75. Caroline Banting

      Hi Stephanie, you're an incredibly strong person for being vulnerable and I think anyone in your position would have the same feelings/worries. So keep at it on the self health journey. I've struggled with anxiety all my life and I definitely recommend meditations. Just being present and focusing on the breathe instead of attaching to so many thoughts brings you back to being in touch with yourself. Some meditations and breath work videos I listen to are from breathe and flo youtube channel or Eckhart tolle has opened my eyes to getting in touch with my spirituality and presence. Eckhart tolle also has this book (since youve been enjoying reading:D) called the power of now highly recommend. It has totally shifted my mindset to awareness, mindfulness to just being more present and happy. I wish you all the happiness and love!

    76. Becca Marr

      Listen you REALLY changed my life and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so open with the internet you have so much courage you have definitely helped change my life when I thought there was no way out , Thankyou so much💓

    77. India Shehan

      When I have high anxiety I get RAVENOUS! I'm so sorry you're struggling.

    78. Stellaphina

      Hey I'm late to the conversation! But I just wanted to share that our health in general will likely always be shifting on a continuum. Most people gain and lose throughout their lives, as well as having ups and downs mentally and spiritually. If you take a up a new sport and get really involved for a couple of years you might realistically lose some weight. If you needed to spend more time taking care of elderly parents or changed jobs/needed to stay home (covid anyone?) you might gain some. I stopped riding my bike everyday and working in the service industry to living a life mostly sitting while I studied in university. Guess what? I gained some weight. I think as long as we try to ask, and honestly answer, questions about our health - am I eating a little too much (feeling overly full) and not moving enough? Am I working more than I'd like, and feeling depleted/hungry often? - then hopefully we can navigate the natural ups and downs we will experience physically, spiritually, and mentally.

    79. Laura-Lee Chenot

      This comment section did exactly what she didn't want it to do, this is so sad

      1. Laura-Lee Chenot

        @Sara S. literally, people saying she has an eating disorder etc....this is the exact reason she is anxious to post

      2. Sara S.

        I know right?? SO much unsolicited advice and criticism (whether constructive or not) going on in here, it's really sad :(

    80. Laura-Lee Chenot

      I gained a lot of weight this year due to COVID and even though we gained weight for very different reason (mine was NOT intentional LOL) seeing someone gain weight publicly online and not hide it is really refreshing and reassuring as I am actively trying to get back to my normal set weight

    81. Cari Marie XO

      New subscriber, and I am loving what you are sharing. Its a shame that as a society, we can't just do as we please without others thinking they have the right to chip in and judge or critique others. I for one applaud you, you look beautiful and healthy and I applaud your bravery. Keep doing what feels good to you! 💛

    82. mixed martial arts- Kung Fu Palestine

      So beautiful lady 😍😍 excellent my dear friend 💐💐

    83. Petra Smid

      Who even are all these people that are commenting on your weight? You do not owe anyone anything. You are doing this for you and documenting it, because it is interesting! Please take care of yourself first and the relationship that you have with yourself.

    84. J B

      The easiest way to get away from the social media pressure is just to get off social media. It's completely fine if you are the type of person who can't have a healthy relationship with social media. Don't keep subjecting yourself to it.

    85. Cherish

      Just found out your channel and im so happy for it! Binge-watching everything right now😍

    86. BobbyFischer0000

      Just exercise more to offset your unhealthy eating habits while still working on them. All the best

    87. Katie Francis

      Wow so many negative comments... She's done an amazing thing for herself. Discovering Steph has helped me learn that I don't need to be hungry all the time and that I can be healthy while enjoying food. She's helped me and I'm sure I'm just one of many. And to all those telling her to see a therapist... She may well be already and just like other things, is not ready to talk about that on the internet. She can share whatever she wants and needs to share. Peace and love 💕

    88. Felicia Lally

      I would like to know if psychologists have recognized what I'm going to call HUfastr syndrome- worrying too about what people, your audience or potential audience, think. My 12 year old is trying to start a gaming channel and is super stressed. An outlet which is supposed to be for fun and self expression can be a source of anxiety when the focus is on keeping others happy or "making people like me".

    89. Ágnes Terézia Sipos

      You are one of the bravest person I know, continue love your body and yourself because you deserve it.❤

    90. Danielle A

      I don't want to be another opinion which causes stress because that is the last thing you need, but I remember you mentioning your birth control change in the last video. I had some pretty awful side effects using hormonal birth controls (irregular periods, intense anxiety, depressive periods, my first ever anxiety attacks, etc). I started using the copper IUD because of this. I know that is the one that you switched from and I know you were having some issues with it so I don't necessarily have a solution nor am I qualified to give one, but that could be something to look into if you're struggling with crippling anxiety. Thanks for these videos and being so lovely and honest. :) Sending you love.

    91. Kii Said

      You look beautiful! I wish I didn't have a problem with under eating. I don't do it on purpose and all I want is to have a feminine physic, the one that I'm designed for. I congrat you for stepping up and talking about anxiety. It treats us all differently.

    92. Casita Bonita

      You look so much better now! Very feminine and super pretty

    93. meow meow

      Stop caring what other people think. Why does it matter what others think of you? Of course ppl have opinions and questions, yr putting yourself out there online to millions worldwide. No one can agree on anything these days lol....If you can’t handle the public perception maybe it’s time to not put yourself out there online to literally everyone. It’s the reason I have no desire to become a content creator/ social media celebrity. It would be extremely difficult. People have opinions no matter what, but you’re going to hear about them when you’re in the position that you’re in.

    94. georgina dekker


    95. Ashley Blanton

      Thank you for sharing your weight. It is a helpful insight for my struggle, again. Since this is your ideal weight it shows me that I really should let go of my fear of gaining weight and that I probably could and look even better like you. Also, I don't think you should worry about fluctuating since that is going to happen and just continue to eat normal. I like that you eat fairly normal and not crazy restrictive or odd like some fitness people since I have a food avoidant issue it is really hard to find things to eat in order to eat better when all fitness says "Don't eat anything but this!"

    96. Cathryn Bozone

      I hope it helps for you to know that your videos and honestly about anxiety struggles has been so helpful for me. As an athlete with crippling anxiety, your video hit the nail on the head for me. I feel like you are talking about things no one talks about. This is so helpful and important. Tysm for being open and vulnerable and sharing your story. The people trying to tell you what to do are probably not nearly as informed as they think.

    97. Kimberly Jauregui

      I understand we all have trials and tribulations. some people have a very good life. Success. Health, and everything in between. And they're still unhappy and have "mental health problems" I dont understand that. I had a pretty crazy life, and moments of despair, but I never ever told myself " I'm depressed" I refused to belive that I was dpressed or anything of that sort. I reject those kinds of thoughts. I feel joy unspeakable. And I don't get how some people have it all, and still have no peace with themselves or in their lives.we have control over our thoughts andemotions. We can't let our emotions rule over us. That's a recipe for disaster. We dictate how we feel and think, regardless of the circumstances.

    98. Cara's Wellness Channel

      The only people concerned about your shape are targeting you because they have a pornographic obsession with you. The internet is full of perverts. I had a self-help channel dealing with issues like rape recovery, physical fitness, self-care, meditation, spirituality, and yoga, but I set it all to private because I got a really bad stalker who is in law enforcement. I know how it feels to feel uncontrollably like shit about food and my body and to use health-centered ideas to try and deal with it. I bet some of these "most liked" comments are painful for you to read, because your goal is to help others and I want to let you know that you've helped me. You get a lot of views because of your face, not because of your body. Don't feel like you can't connect because they want to drum down your voice. That sounds a little like jealousy and I think you should be a counselor. Notice that a lot of the negative comments are from other women. Never underestimate the competitiveness of misogyny and don't listen to people who want to redirect your personal testimony and experiences with body issues. Lost of people can relate to you.

    99. A G

      Woman, turn off the comments to your videos and stop reading what other people say about you. Start finding happiness inside of you and the things you do instead of letting yourself get pressured by public opinion. You look good, you are are nice and pretty.

    100. LittlebigWhispers ASMR

      For anyone judging her.... don’t. Her body is the right weight for her and it’s strong. Just because women are seen as attractive by society because they are petite and delicate doesn’t mean it’s normal for every woman to look like that. I’m fighting the same thoughts like she is because I used to weigh the same as she did in the beginning of her journey and now I weigh the same as her now. I feel stronger and no longer feel light headed all the time. If you are struggling with depression and anxiety during this weight gain journey.... please remember to be kind to yourself like you would to your child self because it’s a vulnerable time for you since you are pushing against the pressure of being a certain body type. You’re a sexy and badass cheetah. ❤️❤️❤️