How To Deal With Weight Gain (Family, Friends, BF, Doctors, etc.)

943 E megtekintés92

    Hey guys! I hope these tips help you if you've undergone any weight gain or physique changes. As you know, I gained 40lbs so I feel like I learned a lot during my own journey. I know this video is a lot of information but I honestly had so much to say! Thank you for always being there for me, especially when I needed you the most, I'm so happy I let you in....you are my people 🙏💋
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    Közzététel: 7 hónapja

    Megjegyzés

    1. Stephanie Buttermore

      Hey guys! I hope these tips help you if you've undergone any weight gain or physique changes. As you know, I gained 40lbs so I feel like I learned a lot during my own journey. I know this video is a lot of information but I honestly had so much to say! Thank you for always being there for me, especially when I needed you the most, I'm so happy I let you in....you are my people 🙏💋

      1. Nyla Adil

        U look better now compared to b4 U look feminine now

      2. Liz Torres

        I been watching your videos to understand your story and great information. I use to be self conscious about my petite body and hard on myself because I always have trouble gaining weight. Do you happen to have an app you recommend to download or possibly make a video of what you eat in a day or would give me an idea of what may help me gain healthy weight.

      3. Alex Cousino

        Have you ever done a hair care video? your hair looks so healthy and beautiful!

      4. Menahil Rao

        Gurl... you looke absolutely amazing with those curves and you are rocking em , love from Pakistan

      5. Paul Newman

        You look great, either way, seriously you look great.Just be healthy, that’s it, bigger or smaller, you look fine.

    2. Raghda Aly

      actually i think that you was beautiful and you became more beautiful 😍

    3. anonymous wanderer

      I’m just happy she FEELS healthy now after all those struggles and needless to say, she looks gorgeous as always

    4. Mandy Rubinoff

      I have been severely bulimic for years. This video made me bawl my eyes out. I think this is the first time in my life that I am making a decision to change my way of life. I am so glad I found on HUfast. I am going to treatment in less than a month. I putting my faith in god and your videos. We’re the same height and I am the your starting weight. I am so nervous about gaining weight, but I want my life back. The amount of time and money thinking of weight and food is overwhelming. Thanks for being here right when I needed it. Much love.

    5. Maude Arse

      Thank you so much for this video ❤️

    6. Tora Ruth

      I gained a lot of weight since I met my boyfriend a year ago because I was always hungry, tired and hated my super lean body. I've put on about 40 pounds but I love how my body looks now! I've put on body fat of course but I prefer the curves on me. It's just tough because my boyfriend doesn't prefer my new body and has voiced that he prefers a leaner more 'fit figure'. It's super hurtful and he's even said to me if I was leaner he'd probably want to have sex more often 😂. Idk advice everyone? Everyone else in my life says I look better now. Just weird being with someone who says stuff like this while I personally prefer my body. The only tweak I'd make would be putting on more muscle which I'm actively pursuing. I can understand where he's coming from but I don't care about his weight and he's gotten a lot skinnier since we first met.... his thought is that men care more than women do about physical appearance.

      1. C B

        I would break up with him. There will be someone out there that doesn’t hold you to a weird double standard with maintaining weight in a relationship and will prefer your new body shape.

    7. Guadalupe

      Steph looks so awesome now

    8. Ariana Bosse

      Keeping a support system is great. But as a recovered orthorexic, I have fairly toxic family that called me fat on my wedding day. I agree completely with you and thank you for being a realistic fitness guru. I'm sorry anyone ever commented negatively towards you. My husband was the main result of my healthy weight gain, but I've struggled with a fullet figure

    9. Ajda Movh

      I really need help, please... So I’ve lost almost 50lbs in the past year and I have been working so hard for it.. I finally had the body I wanted, I was so happy in my skin but then suddenly 3 weeks ago I had my first binge.. my grandma came to visit and she used to have her own bakery, so her sweets are amazing. i ate an entire cake, and then I just couldn’t stop eating.. I moved on to bread and Nutella, croissants, then somehow I ended up on sandwiches... and I didn’t worry about it too much because I just told myself “it’s your first cheat day, you’ll get back on track tomorrow”. But I couldn’t. Next day was the same. Woke up, ate a whole loaf of bread with 3 different toppings, ate croissants, ate chocolate.. ate everything I craved. And I haven’t been able to stop. It’s been 3 weeks since my first binge, and I do it again every day. I can’t stop myself. I’ve gained back what took me 5months to do, and I really just don’t want stop and stay at this weight. Please, anyone, just help me...

    10. Bella McCord

      i can't remember if i commented before but, as a person suffering from anorexia for many years, this is something that greatly affects me. I hate hearing comments on my appearance because it causes so much distress, whether it is from doctors, friends, family, etc... even strangers seeing me can impact me. Watching or hearing things like this helps so much (to an extent). And, while the situation is slightly different (i am not in recovery nor did/do you suffer from anorexia), it still applies because appearance is something that impacts us all to an extent. 🖤

    11. HomieDawg24

      Stephanie!!! I love this, I appreciate your good vibes and making this not such an isolating topic/thing to go through❤️

    12. Caroline Hernandez

      For those concerned about your doctor mentioning your weight and more specifically mentioning your exact weight out loud, consider asking for blind weigh-ins. I am recovering from anorexia nervosa binge purge subtype and I was fortunate enough that my therapist and nutritionist asked my doctor for blind weigh-ins so I wouldn't notice any weight gain or loss as I took the difficult steps toward recovery. It actually says it on my chart now (I've seen it when they print my info out) that says "Blind weigh in" with a huge advisory on it. Granted, I have had nurses and doctors not pay close attention and tell me my weight, which is always super hard and can be discouraging during the recovery process (by making me feel shame or self-loathing and almost regret recovery when I know it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself). In those cases, know that humans make mistakes and have difficulty breaking routines. It may have hurt you to hear your weight at the time, but that was not their intention. They are most likely doing their routine and slipped out of habit. Good luck on your journey folks!

    13. faelunir

      I would die for your body. Oh my god you look so womanly and gorgeous. I love your thighs and cute tummy!!

    14. KATHLEEN DILLON

      You’ve always been beautiful inside and out before and after your journey. I’m glad you’re happy.

    15. Pei Ling

      love u

    16. Diya Anil

      I’m recovering from anorexia, (nobody knows I’ve had it except my sister) and I’ve gained a bit in self recovery (around 10-20lbs) but I’m still on the lower end of healthy, i.e, kinda thin. Unfortunately, my dad just makes comments ALL the time about it, and pokes fun at me. I thought I could recover on my own and until this I was ok...but he makes me feel terrible all the time. This video made me feel so much better, and I’m trying harder to not relapse. I don’t think anybody could make me feel better. Thank You sooooo much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    17. Stuff

      All I see is a girl who traded one extreme of an eating disorder for the other extreme. Extreme restriction, then extreme binging.

    18. Neke

      This was great! Thanks for sharing these awesome tips. As someone who isn't going All In because I don't suffer from extreme hunger but who is learning to love her body and is attempting to gain weight for health reasons, muscle building due to military job reasons this is really a good guide on my path on my personal journey. I always love hearing from you and your inspire me. Thanks for doing this and following through with your vision even though it was a rocky road. You're a real one Steph!

    19. Aria Morton

      I have Stephanie to thank for recovering from an eating disorder after 2 years. She showed me life is so much more than a number and being fit means nothing if you are not happy or satiated. These tips are so helpful, I feel as though no one ever discusses how to deal with these issues, especially in the fitness community. ❤️

    20. Renee Crotty

      you look healthier now in a good way prettier..more feminine x

    21. Monica Targioni

      I THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN EVRY WAY YOU ARE

    22. Hannah Pauley

      People usually just comment or ask about noticeable weight gain or loss because they want to know why. So I think know your why is the best advice! They want to know if it was by choice, a mental issue, or a physical health issue. That’s really it! If it’s by choice no one cares lol.

    23. Ashley Cole

      The morning an check-whew. Every day, I lift my shirt lol 😩 I am gonna stop that :)

    24. Laura D

      Hi, thank you so much for these Videos! I’m going through some rapid weight gain as a side effect of medication I’m on and I’m struggling to cope with the change. I believe I’ve lost about 25 of muscle tone and gained it all back as fat. (I’m 2 sizes bigger now, nothing fits) I’ve wanted to hide more than ever because none of my clothes fit (and I have severe hair loss as well). A few quick questions for you: Did you have to buy all new clothes? How did you decide when to do that? And did you donate your old clothes since they didn’t fit anymore?

    25. Isra Mehboob

      I really try to eat and my family encourages me to eat 3 meal a day but I can't eat I always restrict myself from eating and severely undereat and exercise so much more ,I have alot of apps in my phone to guide me but I can't 😭😭😭I don't know what to do please help(I don't want to gain weight)

    26. ola3090

      Thanks so much for sharing your journey and being so vulnerable. I’m going through this currently, and IT IS SO hard!! Your video gave me a sense of comfort. 🙏🏼 All the best to you! 🤍

    27. Ari

      I didn't gain or lose weight that much in my life but I suffer from an eating disorder (and obviously bad body image) and my weight have fluctuated during the last year... which was and is still very difficult for me. So I'd like to thank you for this video and you sharing all these tips, it helped me to continue my recovery journey!

    28. sophia

      Stephanie is so positive! I love this queen

    29. noname delete

      Why there are haters? And how can someone hate you??

    30. Jazmyn Siolo

      Haven’t got watch you for awhile been super busy . I’m catching up and I love everything 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️ ur the best leader out here I swear

    31. Gilson Nell

      Omg for the body checking I felt so attacked 😂😂 I really need to work about it, unhealthy asf 🥱

    32. Morgan Hrdlicka

      Im underweight and im 10 Years old. I know I'm not alone now

    33. HayabusaOrlando

      Thank God she figured out for herself that being curvy is beautiful. My girlfriend is Venezuelan and Cuban. Thick and curvy and SMOKING HOT. She's 50 years old. Beautiful, inside and out. AND she can cook ! Nothing but love for her.

    34. Danni

      First watched this video a couple of months ago, when I was having a hard time dealing with massive weight gain due to BED induced by anxiety and depression + not being able to workout as much as I would’ve liked during quarantine/lockdown. I used to be kinda fit and was working towards a leaner physique before my mental health collapsed so the weight gain was unbearable for me. I felt like all my work has gone down the drain and I felt utterly disgusted and ashamed of my fat and bloated body. Coming back today and realised that mentally I’m at a better place now. I’ve been more accepting towards my new physique and have realised that weight and physique shouldn’t be the things that define me. Haven’t done body checking in a while now and have started to learn to ignore unhelpful judgments from people. Hopefully I’ll eventually be able to be at peace with my own body. Thank you so much Steph for all your videos!! Your all in journey has truly been inspirational 💜💜💜

    35. William_ _Kryptofan.

      Gaining weight is the hardest thing to achieve and weight loss is not as hard.

    36. channel1

      Thank you for sharing this! After having 4 children the struggle to get back to your old self it’s so hard.

    37. Lil’ Bird

      Trying to understand “all in”. Is it just gaining weight?

      1. micah santiago

        Yes and no. Long story short, she was trying to fix her hunger and her relationship with food!

    38. DJ Wafflez

      Can you go from one eating disorder to another?

    39. Elise Brevik

      Stephanie: stop body checking Me: *pinching my thighs and tummy while shes talking* :(

    40. Walrus Walrus

      Thank you so much. U r an inspiration. Right now I’m trying to gain 20 lbs because of my GP (Gastoparieais) and its really hard. I’m worried about what all my friends and soccer team and school will think. I was wondering if u have any ideas of how to help pain with eating more. Any good stretches or tips.

    41. Joseph Libunao

      Hi, Stephanie! Can you do a version of this for men? Maybe collaborate with a man who also went "All in"?

    42. kathleen rabung

      First, thank you, second what mail polish are you wearing!?

    43. Miky Kim

      I’ve struggled with food all my life (and still do). Love your videos. You’re amazing!!!

    44. anallely vizcaino

      She just spoke everything I always constricted myself to say aloud . really gives me so much confidence to hear her express herself and love herself

    45. Botanically Built

      I needed this video, Stephanie! As a former physique competitor who was stage lean for too long and is now at a healthy body weight, it is so damn hard dealing with the comments made by friends, family, and strangers. How I look ISNT interesting, and I can’t thank you enough for reminding me of this. You’re amazing Stephanie thank you for your bravery. You’re a true hero

    46. Marilyn

      Stephanie just like Jeff has been for you, you have been my rock with my own weight gain journey. Thank you so much for sharing you are beautiful inside and outside ❤️

    47. guylianseashore

      Thanks so much for this video Stephanie. I’m having a hard time lately, after being put on medication that is causing me to gain weight. It’s hard feeling like I’m not in control of my body or that I’m worth less because of that weight gain. Thanks for helping me feel less alone in this

    48. Joseph B

      As a male for me I'm 20% body fat which is my upper limit. Any more and I start to accumulate unnecessary body fat and a negative effect on my health. 15% imo is the best body fat percentage for me based on hormones and everything else health related. That's 15% year-round. I can hit down to 10-13% but it has to be temporary. Below 10% and forget about it. I don't care who you are and if you say it is sustainable and fine you are a liar and are taking hormones and other stuff or used to feeling suboptimal.

    49. lgamble

      What a great message! I’m current letting my natural hair color grow in which is gray and getting similar reactions. I’ve always had this weird belief that I had to look a certain way for others 🥴 Not anymore! Now it’s just me lovin’ on me! Btw, if you and jell ever have babies, that child will have the most beautiful smile on the planet ❤️

    50. Rodrigo Ferreira

      Thanks for the great video! I'm a therapist who works a lot with people who struggle with eating disorders and from now on I'm recommending this video for my clients! Please keep up the great work!

    51. Lizane Jordaan

      Weird question, but which one of all your videos you've ever made earns the most?

    52. Patty La

      So Sweet! Never heard anyone put gaining weight in such a loving and positive manner. Thank you for doing this for a lot of us who struggled/s with body image. I don't want to dismiss how hard you worked to get your body so lean but at the same time I think your body looks great after you gained some weight.

    53. Myles Anderson

      I never tries to gain 1 lb unless it was muscle 😆 ever in my life my body just seems to do that naturally

    54. Gabriela Bilyeu

      I recently decided to purge all social media accounts, including Instagram and I feel so much more productive and focused! But I have missed the positivity and inspiration I felt from following your profile! I’m so happy that I can still keep up with you on your HUfast channel! Thank you for continuing to make a positive impact on my perspective on life! Omw to workout from your At Home training guide!

    55. Meredith MacKenzie - Parallel Wellness

      Wonderful tips Stephanie! I love your discussion on how to deal with the judgment you placed on yourself. ❤️

    56. Indy D

      She looks so healthy! Good for her.

    57. Lauren Bennett

      Body checking is sooooooo ingrained in me, ug so hard

    58. k dot

      One thing I would say is that we live in a VERY fatphobic society, as you said everyone has a "set-point" and someone's set-point may be a little heavier than what we would consider normal in today's society and what some may consider "fat". People should not be upset if their set-point isn't the same as your size. I really hope everyone struggling with body image that is watching this learns that they are perfect the way they are.

    59. David Jensen

      Thank God for You Tube. It's difficult to find stories like this in mainstream "fitness" publications.

    60. Molly Roach

      You honestly look so much better now! Love the curvyness

    61. vitani

      I needed this I got back from the doctors and the said I'm close to being over weight I'm 94 pounds and I'm 14... 😭😳 cause I gained 10 Pounds...

      1. Aditi Agarwal

        how are you over weight if you're 94lbs??

    62. Katie Tooker

      I can't imagine having all of that muscle, and trying to push out any fat to make room for it. The number on the scale doesn't reflect how healthy or unhealthy someone is, particularly mentally. You, my dear, are healthier than you've ever been. I'm proud of you.

    63. Mima Kutašová

      thank you so fucking much:)

    64. masha

      youre such an inspiration

    65. Alley katt

      You my new fave HUfastr..... I relate to you so so so freaking much. It blows my mind.

    66. Sunny H

      You look super lovely and super healthy! So beautiful and curvy.

    67. Yulia Rushworth

      I’ve come across your channel over the last couple of days and it’s been such a revelation. 36 and recovering from a relapse into an eating disorder that got me thinner than when I was a teenager. After having given birth to 2 children! I keep saying that I should have known better. I’m at the stage where I’m puffy and feeling bloated and gaining around my midsection which is something I’ve never struggled with. Never. Your videos are inspired and inspirational. Whatever you do, you carry on. It’s helping women establish that we are so much more than our bodies, that eating to satiety is ok, that exercising is there to keep us healthy and strong and that we shouldn’t be ashamed of showing our bodies the way they are.

    68. iris.the.messenger

      The message you're sending out to people is so heartwarming and beautiful. You went through such a tough journey and your happiness and confidence now is so great to see. Congrats

    69. Jean Wu

      I love how honest you are, instead of just telling us empty blanket statements like "be body positive!" or "ignore the haters" I appreciate all the actionable advice....and I wish I watched this before I pushed my loves ones out of my life.

    70. vegan cherry

      Natural Kapha

    71. Ella Carpenter

      She’s literally any girls dream body! Slim thicccc 🍑 x

      1. Chris'tiana

        Emily Torrent I am allowed to have an opinion. She is too thick for her to be my dream body, not in general.

      2. Emily Torrent

        @Chris'tiana Imagine how you would feel if you were Stephanie reading your comment. How dare you say she's 'too thick'. Who made you the judge of other women and that your opinion on her body is 'correct'

      3. Chris'tiana

        She used to be my dream body. Now she's a bit too thick.

    72. Raha Jaafari

      I gained weight after giving birth to my baby, every one saw just talked about my weight.... I am so broken becuase everyone judges me...

      1. Raha Jaafari

        @Sarai Raia 💓💓💓💓😢😢😢😢😢😢😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

      2. Sarai Raia

        don’t let that effect you! you carried a baby and beautiful human! that’s amazing hat our bodies can even do that! remember you are strong mama!!

      3. Raha Jaafari

        @mexDpeace thank you so much for your positive energy🌹💓

      4. Raha Jaafari

        @Sandra Pequeño thanks💓

      5. mexDpeace

        Okay so I don't have children so I probably can't fully relate but honestly it is absurd how obsessed our society is with womens bodies that even after giving birth THAT'S what matters. Sure, you can lose weight. But that just shouldn't be this important! You are (hopefully) healthy and you have (hopefully) healthy child and that is just so much more important.

    73. Monica P

      Why is fitness about weight? Isn't it about feeling unicorn rainbow heavenly fit?

    74. Sarah Berlowicz Fitness

      Wow I followed your advice on starting a diary today and I wrote 4 pages in 5 min 😳❤️ It's about my view on my body and how I think about myself and learning to love myself more and be proud of how I look. And reminding myself that my weight loss journey is done. I'm there and have been for 4 years. The journey now is hypertrophy and strengt. And than later on when my mindset is there i can work on fat loss 🙂 Thank you Stephanie ❤️

    75. Nicole lashes

      I wish I could be the same lol after my 2nd bby I gained some weight

    76. ZoCo Island

      Absolute inspiration, and so brave and honest. This is so helpful for so many. Thanks Steph xxxx

    77. Amy Shaw

      I'm currently recovering from anorexia trying to get up to a healthy weight and you are so inspiring!! Not only are your thoughts so well formed on this topic; but you have so seem to have so much energy and happiness from this journey. I seem to seek out your channel when I start decreasing my calories, am feeling very shitty about my body, or generally am tempted to engage in my ed again. Thank you for being so open and strong on a topic which is so tricky. You give me hope for the future!

    78. Bell Reve

      Pretty woman

    79. maham meher

      She isn't just some influencer, look at her educational credentials

    80. Angela Crosley

      Thank you Steph so much!!

    81. Alisa Huang

      This is the first time I leave a comment on sb’s channel . I am pretty sure that there are no words can help to tell you how much I appreciate your brave decision -ALL IN . I have problems with eating and workout for almost six years and I am 23 now. I try to stop purging and feel more about my body signals . Every time I want to give up , I come to this channel to see you . You are the spiritual support for me . I really want to say thank you for your being here with me through videos . Thank you for being who you really are . Thank you for motivating me to save my life .Love you, girl .

    82. Julis Journey

      These tips are so amazing I wish everyone could see this video because I think it‘s something almost everyone is struggeling with! You are awesome girl ❤️

    83. Janet Wood

      *You were too thin before. You look perfect now! If I had your body! I would buy a bunch of cute outfits and take tons of pictures!* 😘

    84. Alexandra Victoria

      Thank you. Just thank you! I ate and i punished myself constantly!!! I had and still have such a bad relationship with food and it is really messing with my mental health! I am so scared of putting weight on as i know i have put on at least 5kgs and its all because of my emotions. I wish i could one day just wake up and be happy with my body and love the skin im in. Youre amazing for talking..its made me feel that i am not alone.

    85. Hello people

      she looked better bigger bizarre

    86. Elizabeth Russell

      I sobbed through this entire video. I’m trying so hard to start intuitive eating after years of binging and restricting. It’s totally foreign to me and my biggest fear on the “other side” is gaining weight. I know it shouldn’t be a huge deal.. eating how your body is made to eat with no excess or restrictions... but it’s terrifying to have no idea what your body will look like on the “other side”. Thanks for sharing your journey💕

    87. Roxanna Mostatabi

      I love that you gave the advice to not push close friends and family away even though they may not understand or give criticism. A lot of other people would say the opposite, which I think can cause unnecessary drama and isolation down the line. You were really strong to keep in mind that not everyone was going to get what you were doing, and they were going to share their two cents anyway, but you didn’t mind because your mindset was strong and you had faith in yourself to know you were on the right path.

      1. Roxanna Mostatabi

        Also to trust that your loved ones are saying those things because they care, not because they want to tear you down. My loved ones had things to say when I began gaining weight, and I was really upset at first. But I told myself that they weren’t trying to be judge mental they just wanted me to be healthy. I am glad I didn’t push them away when they told me things I didn’t want to hear. Also, I did what I thought was best, and I continued eating and exercising the way I wanted to, and eventually I reached a very healthy physique. I’m content with myself now, and I’m glad I didn’t push them away.

    88. Dace

      This hopefully will be enough motivation for me to get my eating back to normal where I didn't have to plan out my whole day around food. I just want to free myself from it cause it's exhausting but my stubborn personality takes it tole since I have struggled with being overweight all my life. One thing I miss from those times is the fact that I did not care about what or when I was eating.

    89. Roz girl

      You look better than before

    90. ECM

      Thanks for this video ❤❤❤

    91. Alyssa Q

      Honestly quarantine has made me obsess about my body out of no where because there’s nothing else to do and there’s not gym so I feel like I’m completely flying off the rails when it comes to food and fitness (even though I know I am not) and I hate it because I used to love being healthy just to be healthy and now I’m body checking and working out and watching portions for narcissistic reasons. This video helped me a lot and I’m definitely going to incorporate these tips so I don’t lose my mind in quarantine.

    92. WOLFOUTATNIGHT

      Look amazing either way

    93. Barbara Schild

      very brave!

    94. H A

      For me, the comments of my mother and others hurt a lot. People would say I was very thin (which I knew already and was trying to make a change) and that would trigger my mother who would make passive aggressive comments. I think she got frustrated but didn't realise her frustration hurt me. She would tell people "Yeah she's dieting" or when I was gaining weight would say "So how long is this going to last". Because of this even if I was trying my best I would give up thinking no one has faith in me. I realised over time my self talk was also negative, for instance I would tell myself am useless, this will never work, I'll never gain weight. Fortunately by living alone I was able to work on my negative self talk and change it to being more positive and also look after myself better without soaking in negative comment. Sometimes that is what you need. I feel like I am in a better space although have a long way to go yet. I agree its definitely important to know it's a journey and you won't fix you weight issues over night. Even if you wanted to. It takes a lot of patience and trusting the road you are on.

    95. Donutia Gacha!

      I don’t know why but I cried during this, maybe because I’m so obsessed achieving a small waist and get rid of my jiggly legs/thighs.. I feel like sometime in the future I will relate to this, I’m just glad there’s people like her that explain throughout their journey how they feel and to help others, I appreciate this video 💞

    96. Juan Valdez

      way better plump, just keep training.

    97. mickey chong

      You are a very strong, honest and positive woman. Thank you

    98. Pluto

      Thank you so much Stephanie!! I was in the same boat as you, severely anorexic and sick in the hospital, the weight gaining process is soooo hard. But in the end, it’s totally worth it, and every aspect of your life just becomes so much better. You’re an inspiration, don’t listen to the haters and keep grinding sis💪💪

    99. WerewolfofEpicness

      haha she really did photoshop her ig post on feb 23rd

    100. Annechristine amedissen Bossen

      I love you! thank you so much for sharing your journey!!!